Healthy Boundaries – in business – are you being exploited?

Usually the boundaries in an employer/employee relationship are clear. In most western countries at least there is usually some form of employment contract. However even then there are nearly always some areas that over time become muddy! Of course we are human after all!! One issue is the expectations…..

Expectations – signposts that may mean you are being exploited?

Time boundaries – are your hours clear? Often when your job or business project is not a 9am – 5pm office job or tradesmen’s hours of 7am – 3pm, you end up working many more hours for the same benefits. Are you in control of your work/life balance? Are you able to book family and leisure time or does your boss or senior business partner ‘own you’? Do they call you on weekends and in evenings and expect that you will be free for a meeting? (Remember that often workaholics use their work also as their social life and so boundaries are very unclear. I definitely have fitted into this category so am speaking from experience!!)

Physical boundaries –
a) Workspace – is it conducive to your tasks?
b) Physical proximity – does your boss or senior business partner stand too close to you or over you while you work. They may even be a good friend however when they are invading your personal space do you feel as if you cannot continue with your current tasks? Of course there is also the other area of sexual abuse which could be everything from unwanted sexual advances to more forced situations.
c) Living arrangements – often we are in situations especially when our job or project involves us relocating to a new city, town or country, situations arise beyond our control. Is your superior controlling where you live and how you live? Do you feel totally compromised or even unsafe?

Economic boundaries – is your superior honouring their agreement with you? This usually is in terms of your pay, commission or reimbursement for out of pocket expenses as part of your role. Are you responsible for all costs associated with the project and thus your financial re-numeration is actually not that great? If things have become unclear then set a meeting and ensure expectations either way are clear. Beware you may not like the outcome!

Truth Boundaries – are you required to lie for your superior? Are you aware of any business dealings that are less than honourable however due to your own part in it and/or confidentiality clauses, you must keep your mouth shut and yet your conscience is bothering you. Perhaps you have a feeling that monies received for a certain purpose are now going into another project and although this may be legal you are not comfortable as you are also in part accountable for the progress of projects. This particular scenario has particularly led to economic downfalls of local government authorities. Or perhaps you have assisted in brokering a deal then one of the parties has not honoured their side of the agreement. Life is full of situations like this however it is how we choose to deal with them that marks us both at the time and for some years following!

Mental boundaries – are you respected and valued as an important player or are you belittled in front of others and seen as a disposable asset? Mental abuse is unfortunately common in every sphere of life particularly when someone has power over you. The good news is we can choose to no longer be under someone else’s control, even prisoners can change their internal response to incarceration. One incident in my own life involved me working for a large orgnaisation where they were in control of so much of my life at work, out of work and also living arrangements. My direct superior held my financial commitment over me and would jest – if you don’t like it – then you can buy yourself out it for AUD17,000. Fortunately with the emotional and spiritual support and even some financial support of friends and family, I was able to buy myself out of the contract. This was a huge decision at the time and I had been spiraling into depression until I thought “I am worth more than AUD17,000 dollars” even though at that time I thought it would take me years to be able to financially recover. However thanks to God’s grace, a better job offer was there immediately and I was financially blessed through the property market!

Spiritual boundaries – are you free to practice your religion or beliefs? Or are you persecuted and made to defend yourself?

When we are in situations even where we do not hold the authority, if the relationship is based on mutual respect which basically means respecting boundaries, then the venture will be more likely to prosper. However if you find yourself answering the questions above and do not like your answers then perhaps it is time for you to call a meeting and if you are unable to come to a mutually respected position then you too may need to buy yourself out of the situation. In your case maybe you physically will not have to pay thousands however there are costs associated with all decisions and yours as an employee or junior business partner may be just risk minimization, or to find a new job or outright damage control.

If you do need to make some tough decisions, remember that sometimes you have to close some doors before others open. Wishing you success!